I lie awake for a while, my arm tight across Xander's middle, just feeling him beside me. Just listening to him sleep.
There's something beautiful about him and I don't care if I sound like a complete ponce. He makes funny noises in his sleep. I feel dawn approaching and think about leaving. And I would've except that Xander pulls out of my embrace and rolls over facing me.
"Hey Spike," he says smiling sleepily, like he's just remembered I'm there, and that it's a good thing. He lifts up and drops a kiss on my mouth, then wraps his arms about me and falls asleep again.
So dawn comes and I haven't left.
~~~
Ooh yay, it's Saturday. I open my eyes and find Spike propped up on one elbow watching me. He's still here. And the happy feeling for that is almost as good as the one I had for Saturday. And yes, the weirdness of this fact does not escape me. Ooh our first spend-the-entire-night-together.
Shut up.
"Hey," I say.
"'Morning," he says.
My first instinct is to kiss him, but I don't, because, Xander here, majorly insecure. So instead I just watch him. He's looking at me. Wonder what he's thinking. Hope he's not sorry about last night. Heh, last night, time for a gratuitous wow. I try to avoid the questions that pop into my head like 'Where we're going from here?' and 'Is this going to happen, like often now?' I scratch at the Kirniarn bites. They're purple and starting to itch.
"Hold still," Spike says suddenly. And takes my arm. He watches me steadily as he lifts my wrist to his mouth and licks the still healing bite.
Feels nice. Hey, the guy sucks my dick, I've got past the whole, ew, his mouth on me thing.
~~~
The Kirniarn bites are an ugly purple. They're healing, just not quite there yet. I put Harris's wrist down and move closer, licking the second bite, further up his arm. Xander's pupil's dilate and I don't break eye contact as I support myself over him and lick the bite on his other arm. I can hear his heart pounding and the smell his blood, hot and close to the surface. But better than that is the scent of arousal. Pheromones are wonderful things. I move down his body and lap at the bite wound on his side. I can feel his erection poking into my arm.
I pull back up. He's watching me, biting his lip. Wondering if I'm gonna laugh at him, I expect. I don't.
I hold myself over him, then lower my body... just enough and brush my lips over his. He lifts his head, trying to catch my mouth. I bend down again and we kiss, not fiercely - tenderly, sensuously. I pull back.
"Roll over," I say. And yeah, my voice is just a bit husky. This is getting to me too. So bloody what if I'm thinking 'bout last night and it's making me hard. So bloody what if he's making me hard.
He gulps and rolls over as requested. I rest my hand on his arse as I bend down and lick the wound on his thigh.
He lifts up just a little. Yeah, know what you're wanting love. I chuckle softly, then run my tongue up his thigh. And across the crease in his backside.
~~~
Hello! Spike? Tongue? Spike's tongue? Hey that tickles! Ooh! Spike's tongue runs up over my butt cheek. I part my legs helpfully. And he licks down at the spot between my balls and my butt. Then he's back to my inner thigh.
He snorts.
"Harris, you. Shower. Now," he says. "You taste like swamp water."
I turn red, but laugh, because, yeah, so-called crystal blue waters of Lake Sunnydale are not.
I roll over and look up at him. And I can't believe I actually say it, but I do.
"You, ah, want to join me?" I ask.
He raises an eyebrow but he kind of looks pleased.
"Alright," he says.
My penis jumps even further to attention at the very bad, naughty thought of naked showering. But then certain parts of my body send certain signals to my brain. Ok, first I have some calls of nature to attend to.
~~~
Harris comes back from the lav and stands in the doorway watching me. He's got his boxers on now but there's a definite little campsite set up under there.
"Ready for that shower?" he asks, his voice just a bit unsteady. My cock twitches.
"Yep," I say.
I follow Xander into the bathroom and he turns on the shower and gets under. Bloody stupid, but I'm almost scared to breath in case I wake up and this is just a bloody dream. Cause he's still here, he's got an erection and he doesn't look like he's about to call me disgusting anytime soon. In fact, the kid's looking, well, like he's very much wanting my company, and I'm not just talking about his dick. He's got this bloody puppy dog 'hope I don't kicked in the head' look.
And then, the little bastard turns the showerhead and squirts me with water.
Right.
I'm in the shower stall in a second, pushing him up against the wall, turning the shower onto him full force.
He's laughing and sputtering and trying to push me off and turn the showerhead away. He manages to do the last part and I start getting drenched. I retreat to the other side of the shower. He points the showerhead at me there for good measure but it doesn't reach my face so it's sort of pointless.
We both stand in our respective corners. Watching each other. Oh dear, looks like we've reached an impasse. Notice he's still got his erection.
Yeah, course I've still got mine.
He wipes the water off his face and breaks into that goofy grin that I'm starting to think I like. All right, that makes me feel like a million bloody dollars ok?
I grin back.
~~~
Spike's leaning on the shower wall, grinning at me. I summon up my best glare and haughtily grab the soap. Stepping forward so the shower spray hits my back I lather up the bar of soap and start running it over my body. Slowly. While I watch Spike.
Have I mentioned the decision I came to? Round about when Spike started licking my butt this morning? The one where I just go with this? The one where I don't get all freaked out by waking up next to Spike and liking it? The one where I don't ruin future potential hot sex opportunities by having uncomfortable talks? Yep. Basically I decided to let my cock do the thinking today. I'm good with all the decisions it's made so far. Speaking of my favourite appendage, I lather up a bit there as well.
Spike gulps. Hehe. I made Spike gulp. Yeah I'm the sex god.
"Soap?" I ask.
~~~
That's it. In half a second I've got Xander up against the shower wall and I'm sliding my hand through the soap he's lathered on his body and we're nose to nose.
"Ta, love, thanks," I say and slide my body through the suds on his. He laughs. And then we're both slipping against each other. I brace myself against the wall, just for more leverage. I grin as he lets out a moan. And then... my hips thrust sharply against him as his fingers slide between my arse cheeks. I rest my forehead against his and try not to whimper.
~~~
That got the smirk off Spike's face. We stare into each other's eyes and I know I'm panting. I want to kiss him. His dick is right against mine. Friction. Ooh nice. One of my fingers finds its way somewhere tight.
Spike's eyes close for a second and he lets out a quiet moan. He opens his eyes again and there's amusement there.
"You like my arse Xander?" he breathes.
"Yeah," I say.
"Why do you like my arse Xander?" he asks and thrusts his hips into me again.
"Um... your ass... let me see... " I consider this. Ok, there are some very obvious and very not straight reasons why I like Spike's ass.
"Because," I say and thrust my finger just a little deeper, setting off that chain of events that results in nice cock-on-cock friction. "It's really not that saggy for a guy who's nudging a hundred and thirty."
Spike chuckles. Then something just a little scary and intense comes into his eyes. "Turn around," he growls.
Ok, scary and surprisingly commanding. And oh, my penis obviously likes it. Hey, it's in charge. Obeying now.
Spike presses me against the wall, his soaped up erection rubbing between my butt cheeks.
"Like your arse too," he murmurs. "Gonna show you why."
I tense in anticipation. I'm dying to touch my cock, but somehow I know that's not in the rules of the game of the moment. I'm pretty good at playing games. Ask Anya. A small tingle of fear is in my stomach, but apparently not working to change my penis's assessment of the situation.
A whimper of protest escapes me as Spike pulls back. He chuckles again. I know he's enjoying this.
Oh fuck. Oh yes. Grnrrghh.
Spike's soapy finger eases its way inside me. The tiny thought occurs to me that maybe putting soap in certain places isn't exactly good for you, but hey, it feels ok. Very ok.
His finger works it's way in and I lean against the wall shaking from the sensation. The shower beats down on my lower back.
"Touch yourself," he says. I hear the slip, slip of him moving his hand over his own soapy erection. Panting slightly, I reach down and grasp my hard-on firmly. Oh yeah. That's the stuff.
~~~
Xander whimpers as I move my finger, and then he bucks when I find that spot. I pull out a ways, then slip that finger and another back in. He groans. Likes that. I start sliding my fingers in and out, mimicking my own thrusts into my hand. Mimicking his thrusts into his hand. He's so tight. I work my fingers a bit, stretching him. He's relaxed though. Wants this, can tell. I work a third finger in.
He groans there and clenches his arse a bit. On the edge of uncomfortable I think. I keep my hand still for a bit, till I feel him relax. Then start sliding them, in and out. Faster, harder. His breath and heartbeat quicken.
"Spike, oh fuck that feel good," he pants. A moan this time. I quicken the pace on my cock and feel my balls tighten. So tight. Want to be in him.
~~~
I'm in heaven. Or at least some really nice place where vampires do amazing things to your ass. Oh fuck. I can barely stand.
"Stop touching yourself," Spike says suddenly.
I groan, but hey, his game. I reluctantly let go of my erection. And maybe it's the whole kink factor, but Spike being all commanding, plus doing great things to my butt, is a real turn on. Kind of like when me and An' used to play Princess and Slave Boy.
"Good boy," he murmurs. And I'm dying to touch myself again. I feel Spike position himself behind him, his fingers still slipping in and out of me, making me see black spots.
~~~
"Brace yourself," I manage.
Xander presses both hands to the shower wall and I see the muscles in his shoulders flex slightly. I bite back a moan of anticipation.
And then I swap fingers for cock. Hard.
~~~
"Oh fuck!" I exclaim as Spike thrusts into me. Black spots turn into stars. It's almost painful. But not. So not. He thrusts hard, not like last time, this is powerful... he just pounds into me. Gripping my hips and just fucking me. It must only be for about twenty seconds, four, five powerful thrusts, but it's the longest damn twenty seconds in my life. Every thrust sends explosions through my body, I can't hear, I can't see... and oh, fuck yes, oh god, oh fuck, gonna cum, gonna cum. And then I feel Spike explode inside me. And I reach down and pull myself hard, cumming all over the shower wall.
He leans against me heavily.
"That, Harris, is why I like your arse," he gasps.
A laugh shakes my body. And then I feel Spike shake against me too. And then we're both silently laughing. Shaking with it. I think it must be from shock. From that intense thing we just did. He pulls out of me and turns me around and just kisses me. Holds me up, holds me against him, and kisses me.
It feels so good.
I congratulate my penis on some good executive decision making.
~~~
I pull Xander with me under the shower spray and set about washing him for real this time. He's got this bloody stupid grin on his face. I did that. Made him boneless and shaky. I wash him carefully, like I used to wash Dru sometimes. And then he takes the soap from my hands and starts washing me. I let him. His expression is serious, studious as he runs his hands over me, finding every crevice and nook in my body. I wonder vaguely if that's what I seemed like when I washed him. I kiss him again, then, his tongue tangling with mine, as we stand under the hot water, letting it wash the suds off us.
~~~
"So, I guess I'm stuck with you all day," I say as I dry myself off. I'm literally squeaky clean. Spike wraps a towel around his waist and looks at me carefully. Crap. I was just kidding. It wasn't like being stuck with him was a bad thing. I hope he knows that. He knows that right?
"'Less you've got a blanket you want me to smoke up, then yeah." And he raises his eyebrow and pads out into the bathroom.
Ok, salvageable.
"Nope, sorry. Guess you're just going to have to stay here."
Spike smirks, then picks up his jeans and pulls a face.
"Got a washing machine?" he asks.
~~~
The evil little sod grins evilly at me.
"No," he says. "But I do have some clothes you can borrow and I'll take your stuff down to the laundromat when I get the chance."
I wince, suddenly assailed by hideous memories of hawaiian shirts.
"I might be fucking you Harris, but you're not bloody getting me to dress like you."
I expect a laugh and some comment about how his dress sense isn't as abysmal as it actually is, but he suddenly sort of goes a bit pink looking. And has a coughing fit.
"Um, yeah, we're um, that's what we're doing all right." His eyes look wild.
Fuck. Bloody hell. Bugger. Sort of just implied this was a relationship, albeit one based on sex, didn't I? And Harris obviously had a hard time dealing with it. Bugger. Last thing I want is to look needy around the kid.
I look at him.
"Chin up, Harris, probably won't happen again," I say.
"Oh, right. Of course not."
Bloody hell. One minute he's having a choking fit cause we've got something going, the next he's all kicked small animal because I said we wouldn't do it again. What does he want? Well, sod him, what does he think this is? Think we've got a bit beyond it just bein' an experiment or a one night stand. Or a mistake. Can't keep doing this and pretend he doesn't want me. Need me. Last night proved it. He wanted me.
Things are suddenly very uncomfortable.
All right.
I walk over to him. I'm still in just my towel and so is he. I invade his personal space a bit. He looks at me, sort of mesmerized. I lean in and murmur in his ear.
"I want you. You want me. It's called fucking. You can get all sad and broody about it or we can have some fun. Personally I'm gonna have the fun."
And just to punctuate my statement, I clap my hand on his arse and pull him flush against me, and kiss him very firmly. I feel him get hard against me and his lips part and I feel his tongue against mine.
I pull back. Point made. Not fucking going back to all that bollocks before he broke up with the demon bint.
Xander looks a bit shell-shocked and I can hear his heart racing. He swallows.
"You want some breakfast?" he asks.
~~~
Fucking. Me and Spike are fucking. Not just, we fucked, but present tense, something we do, fucking. It's like saying, me and Spike play golf. Or me and Spike are squash buddies. It's something we do, have done and will do. And why does this suddenly terrify me? I mean, last night, was, ok, incredible, and this morning? In the shower? I can't walk properly yet. I mean, when Spike said we probably wouldn't do it again - disappointment, major disappointment.
I think just having it said, laid out like that, freaked me. Ok, I can deal. Nothing's changed. It's not like we're buying rings for each other or picking out stylish bed linen together.
We fuck. It's something we do. We also watch tv and play pool and drink beer.
I calm down a bit. In that context it's suddenly not so wiggy.
I finish making two bowls of cereal. I ought to get some blood in for Spike.
Spike walks into the kitchen then, completely naked.
"Uh, and I guess clothes are optional," I say. And I'm growing hard just seeing the hard-on Spike's sporting. What is he, a walking towel rack? He's naked, hair still damp from the shower and all hard and lean. Ok, I'm gay.
He just smirks at me, takes a bowl of cereal and sits down on my couch in front of the television.
~~~
Oh yeah, I've got it. Harris couldn't take his eyes off me. Sugar coated breakfast cereal, morning telly and a potential fuck, sounds like my idea of a bloody good day.
I watch Harris walk into the room. He's wearing jeans, too baggy as usual, but there's just something about the way they hang off his hips. I raise an eyebrow as he looks at me and I see him glance down at my huge stonker of an erection (even if I do say so myself, course I do, I'm fucking well hung) and turn bright red. Notice he's been turning less pink lately though.
~~~
I get the urge to do something about Spike's hard-on. It's just like, begging to be, ok, fucked, or sucked or possibly jerked off. But hey, have chocolatey nutritious breakfast cereal to eat. He's going to have to deal with it himself. I sit down just as the Pokemon theme song starts up.
"OH BLOODY HELL!"
I jump, nearly spilling my cereal.
"What?"
"Give me the remote," Spike nearly begs. "I'm not watching bloody Pokemon. There's got to be something else."
I grin evilly.
~~~
Harris is a fucking sadist. I can't believe he made me sit through a whole bleeding half hour of that utter shite. Finally its over. The theme song for the next show starts up and I sigh with relief. Thank all that's good and holy and or evil. DragonballZ.
~~~
Much as I admire the artistic skill involved in producing DragonballZ, I gotta say its not a patch on the cartoons I used to watch as a kid, stuff like Voltron and Battle for the Planets. Even Gummi Bears. Hehe. Spike's getting into this though. It's funny watching him. He's like a big kid. Still got his erection though.
It's while we're sitting there later, though, watching Saturday morning cartoons, that I start following the idea of me and Spike fucking to it's natural conclusion. Spike indicated last night that he would probably be upset if I went back with Anya. Are we talking an exclusive arrangement here? Is Spike only going to have sex with me? What if I develop another fucking-relationship with someone else? Will this be like a regular thing or something that happens say, once a month? Forget fucking someone else, what if I met a nice girl, guy even, and want to go on a date. I mean, what is this between me and Spike? Because, comfortable now with just sex, but where is it going? I don't know if I want it to develop into anything more, but do I just put potential relationships on standby until we get bored with screwing each other? And maybe I do want it to develop into something more, but Spike doesn't?
"What?" Spike says.
"Huh?"
"You're brooding," he says.
"Am not."
"Are bloody so. Put some gel in your hair and you'd be my bleeding grand sire."
I grin. One thing we have in common already, Angel dissing.
Spike grins back and it doesn't seem so scary after all.
~~~
He was thinking bout us. Just know it. I'm here, I'm giving him earth-shattering fucking orgasms. What more does he bloody want? Can't we just get back to good times hanging out and some regular shagging thrown in?
I'm the one that should be having the second thoughts. He is, after all just a human. Xander Harris. Butt monkey. Not like we can head out on the town on a nice jolly killing spree together.
Sod it. Wouldn't do that anyway now. Xander has sunk into silence again.
"Right," I say. "That's it."
"What?" he asks, startled.
"We're gonna spend the day here, might as well have some of that fun before you suck all the joy out of the room."
The look on his face is priceless.
"Huh?"
"We're gonna explore your sexuality some more."
Xander's doing a good interpretation of a stunned mullet. Who has happened to have turned bright pink. "Uh, yeah, that might be fun."
The quickened heartbeat and those pheromones are giving him away a bit though. And making me hard... er.
"Yeah, pet," I purr. "I figure there must be few things you haven't tried yet, even with demon girl."
Xander swallows hard.
"A sex fest huh, well I had 'sit around watching tv and eat pizza' scheduled for today's exciting activities but let me just check my diary, I think I can pencil you in."
~~~
Spike laughs, but then he drops his gaze and lets it run over my body. Oh.
"So, uh, what do you want to do exactly," I say, going into Willow-esque babble mode. "I mean, uh, before I commit myself to weird Vampire sexual hijinks."
Spike raises an eyebrow and looks at me as if he's got a whole list of perverse things he wants to do and is trying to decide which to try first. I'm also now very aware of the slight uncomfortable feeling I have in my ass still. I'm thinking Spike better not want to do anything too energetic. My subconscious helpfully sends me the image of what I did last night though. The image of Spike bent over my bed. And how it felt. Ok, very much up for some of that.
Spike smirks. "How about I unzip your pants and take out that hard cock of yours and remind you why it's a good thing to be screwing something that doesn't need to breathe?"
I swallow (again).
"Um, yep, ok, sounds like a good plan to me," I manage.
Spike runs his tongue over his teeth and gets up and kneels before me. I sit back and watch him unzip my jeans. Ok, and hard? I think the answer to that is yes. Naked Spike is going to blow me. Yup, hard is the correct term here folks.
And then Spike takes my cock in his mouth and he's sucking me... and grnurgle?
Technically, not something new, but, hey, I'm not complaining. Suddenly I'm reminded of that night in Spike's crypt when we were watching porn and jerking off and I wanted to touch him and then he leant over and started... fuck... doing exactly this.
~~~
I'm thinking of all the things I want to do with Xander. Thinking bout what we did last night and last month and not thinking about bloody irritating thoughts like what does this mean and where are we going and shit like that. Am thinking I want my cock in Harris's arse again, and I want his cock in me. Thinking I liked it when he took control. Thinking I liked it when he let me take control. Easy to forget sometimes that Harris can hurt me easily now. Think he forgets too about what I am.
And then I decide what we're gonna do next. I pull up suddenly from Xander's lap and he lets out a groan of protest.
"Come on love," I say, standing up and holding out my hand to him.
He gets up, looking a bit glazed and takes my hand and I lead him into the bedroom.
"Lie down, pet," I say and he obeys, looks a bit curious. I get on my hands and knees above him, my face over his hard red erection and my arse over his face.
He suddenly laughs nervously.
"Ok, never done this before. Obviously I've had a 69 before, just not the two penis variety."
I respond by returning to sucking one of the said penises.
And then I feel that hot mouth close around me and I let out a very unbig bad whimper of pleasure. Hot cock in my mouth and hot mouth on my cock.
I start sucking in earnest. Xander grips my thighs and takes me into his mouth as far as he can. Not very far that, but bloody hell, it's far enough.
~~~
Oh fuck yes... I feel like Spike is sucking me out of my dick. There's something sort of cool about doing a 69, like we're equal, like it's all about everyone's pleasure. I try to take him deeper into my mouth. And sucking cock is easier to do too, when you're having yours sucked. His hips start thrusting into my mouth and I grab his thighs to stop him thrusting too deep. I actually don't mind if he does the thrusting now and again because it gives my neck muscles and jaw a break, but still got this gag reflex thing going on.
~~~
I suck harder on Harris. Can see his balls tighten, he stiffens a bit and I can tell he's gonna cum. I fuck into his mouth harder, but I don't care if I don't cum now, have some more interesting things to try first. And then Xander bucks underneath me and cries out and shoots into my mouth, pulling hard on my dick as he bucks with the orgasm. Fuck, yeah, good pet, ohgnnrrgbhhhh Xan...
~~~
I feel Spike cum into my mouth and I swallow hard, trying to keep up, all the time riding my own orgasm. Oh fuck. Oh yes. I let go of Spike's dick and lie there panting.
Spike gets off me and lies beside me on the bed. He's grinning. I grin back.
"Ok, count me in for a day of debauchery," I say.
Spike props himself up on his elbow next to me. He runs his fingers over my chest.
"Hmmm, such a pretty innocent boy, you really don't know what you've let yourself in for do you?" he says half mockingly.
"If it's anything like what we just did, then lead on oh perverted one."
Spike chuckles and kisses me quickly on the mouth.
"Pet, you have no idea."
I grin.
"So, what next sensei?"
Spike looks thoughtful. Its weird I can almost see his brain come to a decision. A decision he likes the sound of. This incredibly lustful expression just suddenly appears.
"Get up and undress," he says.
I stand up, a little embarrassed, stripping off for Spike. Part of me still expects him to laugh at me or humiliate me, despite everything. The rest of me just feels all glowy and horny from the blow job. I peel off my t-shirt, and give a mock shimmy. Spike laughs. I snicker too and then put my thumbs in the waistband of my jeans and begins to slide them down my hips.
When I look up I see Spike. He has his hand on his cock and is masturbating. Spike getting off watching me undress. Ok, it turns me on. So I'm sick and disturbed. At this point I'm returning all decision making to my dick.
~~~
I'm thinking Harris won't own all the interesting toys I'd like to use with him. Also thinking we might leave his introduction to BDSM to another day. At the moment multiple orgasms are interesting in their own right. Licking that hard tanned body and sinking into those warm depths, being burnt by his hot cock is more than enough.
Xander stands there his hand reaching for his own dick as he starts to toss off, watching me wank, watching him. Like in the motel, only this time it's gonna lead to something interesting.
"Want to fuck me Harris?" I ask.
"Yeah," he breathes more than says.
"Want to stick that cock of yours in me?"
"Yeah."
I get onto my hands and knees on the bed.
"Lick my arse," I say.
Harris moves behind me and I feel warm hands on my arse cheeks, parting them. I slid my hand over my cock in a slow rhythm as a tentative tongue slips hotly between my cheeks. Oh fuckyes.
"Yeah, pet," I breathe. "Just like that. Good boy... yeah Xan..."
~~~
Ok, so I admit, like maybe even yesterday this would have grossed me out. Heck, even when Spike did it to me, the ick factor was pretty high. But it feels good, very good, to have done and now, at this exact moment, its really erotic. And the good noises Spike is making is helping. A lot. This is the aroused Spike I know and... um... fuck... the one that keeps up a running commentary about everything I do. It's good. Better than his silence last night. This is light, this is fun. Not intense and... too much, like last night... Last night when I felt like kissing him and holding him and telling him it was ok.
I push my tongue inside him a little bit, making him hiss and swear and tell me I'm doing this just right. All that cunnilingus with Anya paid off, I have very well developed tongue muscles. I decide to get inventive.
Spike suddenly pulls forward and rolls onto his back. He pulls his knees to his chest.
"Fuck me," he says in a choked kind of voice.
~~~
Xander kneels down in front of me again and sticks his tongue back in my arse. I writhe against him.
"Bloody hell, Harris, fuck me already."
He just smirks and then licks my balls. Oh, fingers... nice. One finger slipping in. In and out for a bit... then two... oh yeah pet, that's it. In and out, making me wide. Want more.
"Fuck me, Xander, want your cock."
Three fingers. Oh fuck yes.
"What do you want Spike?" he asks, bastard.
"You, love, fucking hell, your cock in my arse."
He chuckles and just keeps working my arse with his fingers.
"What's the magic word?"
"Ohfuckgnn... Now," I say.
"Wrong, it starts with 'please Xander sex god with the biggest dick' and ends with 'in the entire universe'."
"Bloody hell-" and then he hits that spot and I moan, which sort of defeats the purpose of the argument I was going to make. "Fuck me please Xander sex fucking god with the biggest fucking dick in the entire bloody universe, which by the way, I want NOW."
~~~
Lube. I nearly forget lube. I grab the squirty bottle and slick myself up. I position myself at Spike's butt and slip slippery fingers inside him once more for good measure. He grips his thighs tightly, holding himself open for me. My cock jumps and I slide my free hand over it.
"Now, Harris." Spike begs. Spike actually begs for my cock. I made Spike want it so much he begged. Huh, yay me. I am the fucking sex god. I pull my fingers out then put the head of my dick in their place. And as I do, I watch Spike's face. I'm going to be able to see Spike's face as I fuck him.
~~~
Ohhhhggodddyes. Xander pushes all the way in and leans over me so I can hook my legs over those broad shoulders of his. He braces himself on his arms next to me, then pulls out slowly. And all the time he's watching me. Watching me like he cares. With those damn chocolate brown eyes I'm gonna drown in. He pushes in again and I moan. Bloody hell that feels good. So good.
"So good pet," I tell him. "You feel so good. Want you in my arse all the time." He says my name, then leans forward and kisses me. I wrap my fingers in his hair and kiss him back. Kissing and fucking and we're barely moving now, just kissing and fucking... bloody hell, this feels good.
~~~
Oh damn, this is heaven. I don't want this to stop. I want to have Spike's tongue in my mouth and my dick in his butt forever or viceversa. Don't care. Just more.
"Spike," I pant. He's so beautiful. Pleasure is written all over his face. And he's looking at me... wanting me. "So tight, so good," I begin to babble. "Want you Spike. Want you Spike. So sorry Spike, sorry for being so stupid. Shouldn't have gone back to Anya-"
"Shh pet," he says and silences me with his tongue down my throat again. And then we start rocking against each other, harder and faster until I feel cold cum from where Spike's cock is trapped between our bodies and my own orgasm over takes me and I explode inside him. I slip off Spike and we lie there for a while, exhausted, kissing softly and just touching a bit until we're both ready for more.
~~~
It's well after sundown when Harris wakes up. We fucked pretty much all afternoon. I've been watching him sleep. Think I might be onto a good thing here. Think he's starting to realize that too. He's wrapped around me. Or rather, we're wrapped around each other. And I don't particularly care to move. Even though I'm getting a bit hungry and there's a bag of pig's blood in my crypt with my name on it. Literally. Nibblet writes 'for Spike [heart] Dawn' on 'em.
Finally Xander stirs.
"Mmm," he says. Then,"ow."
"Sore pet?" I ask.
"Bit. You?"
I shake my head. "Amazing vampire healing abilities, even when you've been fucked in the arse five times since lunch."
"Wasn't five," Xander laughs sleepily.
"All right, six, your turn next Harris."
"I believe I had my fair share of buggerings," he murmurs.
I smirk. "Yeah, pet, that you did."
~~~
"So," I say, from my comfortable spot on Spike's chest. "You want to go see a movie or something tonight?"
He's quite for a minute.
"Yeah," he says finally. "Why not."
"Cool," I say.
"Let's swing by my place first though so I can get myself something to eat."
I laugh then sigh theatrically. "Sure, fine, feed your craving for the blood of the living. It's not my fault you're too good for popcorn."
~~~
I hit him with a convenient pillow then and laugh.
"Get up and have a shower before I discover you fucked the chip out with the rest of my brains."
"Ooh threats-" Xander begins and then he starts to laugh. Real belly laughing.
"What?" I demand.
"I never did get to wash your clothes."
Hawaiian shirts. No. Please, no.
"That's it," I say. "We're definitely going back to my place first."
And for once I'm happy. Good happy. All because of stupid bloody Xander Harris who's laughing his guts out at me
"Spike," he says, wiping his eyes. Oh yeah, so fucking funny. "Come and shower with me."
Definitely onto a good thing.
~~~
Spike thwaps me with the pillow as he walks past me to the bathroom, then ambushes me at the door and proceeds to kiss me. I think I'll let my dick do all my thinking from now on cause things seem to have gone pretty well today. I decide to put all that scary thinking and talking on hold indefinitely. Yep, kissing not thinking, definitely the way to go. And then Spike pulls me into the shower.
Later, when we've finished the movie and Spike's grinned at me and walked backwards down the stairs looking at me as he says goodnight, I shut my door, grinning like an idiot, and sit on my couch. I catch myself thinking about when I'm going to see Spike again. Cause you know, great sex and a lot of fun being had by all. I think a bit more about Spike. Think about the way he smiles at me sometimes, the way he looks at me. Thinking about what we did, and what we could do. And so then I start thinking about where this is going with Spike. And then, for some reason that probably has to do with word association or something, I start thinking about Anya and about Cordelia again. About what happened with them. About how things started. And suddenly I realize that I've never actually had a relationship with someone I chose. I just seem to sleep with someone or grope them in a broom closet, or whatever, and then just somehow end up in a relationship with them. There's no rational getting to know each other, liking each other, heck, even loving each other and then getting to the physical stuff. I just seem to end up with people. And if I think about it, I've never actually ended up with people I've actually wanted to date. Even my brief fling with Willow was all about lust.
And I'm sort of thinking that falling for people because of sex probably isn't the most healthy way to start a meaningful relationship.
And I'm thinking that maybe now I've noticed this pattern, maybe I ought to do something about it.
~~~
I don't see Xander Harris for a whole entire day. Good effort on my part I think. After sundown on Sunday night, I drop by a liquor store and grab a six pack of beer. The good imported stuff.
I take the stairs two at a time up to the whelp's apartment and then knock loudly on the door. It takes him a long time to answer.
"Hello love," I say when he finally opens the door.
"Spike, hey," he says. "Um... so, um, you want to come in?"
I raise an eyebrow and give him my patented leer.
"Um, right yep, come in."
Something's not right. Something's wrong. Harris seems nervous, more than that, not happy to see me.
Fuck.
~~~
Spike sits down on my couch, and quirks his eyebrow. Confident, sexy. It's not helping, not now I've come to my decision.
"Um, listen Spike -- I've got something I need to tell you," I say, tucking my hands in my jeans so they'll stop shaking. I look up at Spike and I feel sick. He hasn't got that sexy look anymore. His expression is suddenly cold, closed.
"Oh, and what's that Harris? That you can't see me anymore? That this is a bad idea? Well, save your breath pet, I'll be on my way-"
"Spike! No, wait-"
He stops. Looking at me. Waiting for me to say whatever I'm going to say to make this not sound like what he just said.
"I'm not going to say that. Sheesh. Give me a chance here." Ok, so I'm stalling. Cause, this is not going to be easy to say.
He just looks at me, waiting.
"I've been thinking. About us, about me and my incredibly bad luck with relationships-"
Spike smirks coldly. "So what, you're gonna end this nice little fuck-game we've got going because you can't keep a girl?"
"No- Spike! Just shut up and listen for a moment, ok? Fuck, I had what I wanted to say all planned out and everything."
He shrugs and sits down. "Go on then."
"I like you. I like what we're doing. A lot. It's just, this is how I start all my relationships. We fuck or grope or whatever, and then we just somehow end up going out. And... I like you. I want to be your friend." I wince at this, expecting a derisive laugh and comment. Instead Spike keeps silent. Ok. Good. "But if we do keep doing this, we will end up in a relationship, even if we just mean it to be no strings sex, and it will be for the wrong reasons and it'll end and just be, all bad. And... I guess what I'm saying is... if we're going to end up together, I want it to be for the right reasons. I want it to be because we chose each other."
Ok. It's been said. Ok. I risk a glance at Spike. He's just looking at me.
I feel sick. And the thing is, the thing that's now dawning on me is that this whole plan rests on the assumption that Spike wants to be with me, wants me for more than happy groinal times. Just like I have these weird very-much-like feelings for him. What if he doesn't?
Ok, yeah it's much easier to be all self-denying and willing to give stuff up when it doesn't seem like it's going to happen.
~~~
Bloody hell.
"Not quite sure what you're saying there pet," I say, cause I'm not. Harris looks down, studying his shoes. "Cause if you're wanting hearts and roses and declarations of undying love, then I'm sorry pet, but I can't give that to you." I look away before continuing. "I love Buffy, you know that. Her being dead hasn't changed that, too soon for that."
Harris looks up. Big brown eyes. Hurt. "That's not what I meant," he says. "And I don't love you either. But, I guess, I'm wondering if I could add a 'yet' to that. I guess I'm wondering if this is about more than fucking... I guess I wondering, if you met me in a club, would you ask me out?"
~~~
Oh yeah, that really summed it up.
Spike gets up and walks to the window. He opens it to the night air and sits on a chair backwards, having a cigarette. He doesn't say anything. Crap. And the realisation is starting to sink in that my little ultimatum - have this mean something or end it - might just mean the end of good times with Spike. And since when did just fucking become such a bad thing. What's wrong with just fucking. Hey, we were having a good time. Stupid, stupid brain.
"Yeah," says Spike suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. "I would."
"Huh?" I say.
He turns and looks at me, and says super slow for the moron. "If I was in a club and I met you, yeah, I'd ask you out." He puts his cigarette out and stands up. "I don't love you Harris, but I like you. Too much. Think about you too much and want to be with you too much. Not sure if that's what you're looking for but it's all I've got."
And then he leers at me.
"So, can we fuck now?"
And I start to laugh. Not so much for the humour content, cause, he's done that one before, but more because, I'm so relieved. And I hadn't realised I'd been holding my breathe until then. And my stomach's doing flip flop things.
~~~
Xander wipes his eyes, still grinning.
"Spike," he says. "I like you too much too. And, if I met you in a club, I'd um, well actually, I'd probably just go home and panic about my sexuality."
I grin at him. Bloody hell, damn kid, I'm getting soft. I should be ridiculing him, mocking him, crushing his self-esteem. But no, I'm standing here, grinning like a git. Happy.
Xander suddenly becomes serious.
"I think we could be together because we make each other laugh and because we both like tv and chocolate and the same movies."
"People have been together for less," I say in agreement.
"I think the hot sex is fun, but I'd be happy too if you just wanted to hang out with me. And I like hanging out with you more than I do... ok, a lot of people at the moment."
He's not bloody getting to me. I'm not getting all mushy and gooey. Am getting hard though.
"And if you feel the same way, then I'd like to keep hanging out with you and I'd like to, um, make with some of that kinky vamp lovin'."
~~~
I hold my breath. Spike just looking at me.
And then he swallows.
"Ok," he says. "Let's give it a shot." He smirks at me then. "And if it makes you feel better, it's because we both like each other, and find each other bloody attractive, an' it's not convenience or just sex or any of that rot."
"Ok," I say. "Cool. Um. Ok."
Spike sighs and rolls his eyes, and then grabs me and kisses me. Mmmm, oh yeah. Spike pushes me up against the fridge and I feel his groin and leg pressing into mine. And my hands are bunching up his shirt and grabbing his butt and pulling him closer too me. And he's holding me tight.
I pull back. Ah, oxygen.
Spike looks at me and shakes his head, but his eyes are soft.
"Pillock," he says.
"Bleached menace," I say.
"You gonna stop worrying bout this now and just let me have my evil perverted way with you?"
"Um, maybe?"
"I bought beer?"
"Mmm beer," I say. "The perfect accompaniment to any date."
"Yeah baby, gonna treat you real good. What's on telly?"
~~~
So we sit and watch car racing on telly and drink beer and eat pizza, an' I keep my hands off Harris for most of the night, which is more than I can say for him - Mr Wants More than Fucking turned into a bloody octopus. Finally I give in and I show Xander how you can watch tv and still get fucked up the arse at the same time.
~~~
Spike bends me over my coffee table and does that, gah, thing he does with his tongue, oh and the fingers, and the lube... ok, and now his dick.
"Lean back," he says when he's deep inside me. So I do, and he pulls me back so he's sitting on the couch and I'm sitting on his lap. On his cock.
Oh yeah. Makes me appreciate the shopping network a whole lot more watching it this way. Spike moves his legs just so and grunts a little as he shifts inside me. And then he sits back comfortably, pulling me against him, and just starts lifting a little with his hips. Feels good... ok, really good. His hands rest on my lap and play with my erection and I feel him nibbling on my ear as I flick through the channels in between Michael Schumaker's laps.
~~~
This is pretty bloody close to heaven I think. Xander's warm body covers me, surrounds me with his scent, his warmth, as he leans back comfortably against me. Lovely tightness around my cock as I run my hand over his erection and up underneath his t-shirt, feeling that warmth, his soft skin. Xander's free hand rests beside us, running over my bare thigh. I lift my hips up and down slowly, making tiny thrusts deep inside him. Here, now, I feel more satisfied than I have in a long time. Don't care about cumming, just about being like this.
~~~
Mmmm, this is nice. A guy could get really used to this. Spike's arms around me, touching me in the good bad touch way, running over my stomach and over my thighs in slow circles. Gentle and slow and just comfortable. It's nice. I guess Spike is trying to be all relationshippy tonight. Which is also kinda nice. He licks my neck and then returns to my ear, making me shiver. As I shift slightly I'm reminded pleasantly that I am impaled on Spike's cock here. I decide to try something out. I clench my ass muscles. Spike groans. Ok, mission accomplished. Heh.
He thrusts up deep inside me. Oh yeah. I clench again, and he thrusts, until we get into a rhythm of clench, thrust, clench, thrust. We're fucking without moving very much at all.
Spike doesn't say anything through all of this, and neither do I. It's like we don't need to. That just doing and feeling and touching is more than enough. Just being together.
~~~
The whelp's breathing heavy now, and his cock is straining against my hand. I'm pretty close myself. I let go of Xander's cock and put my hands on his hips, lifting him up slightly so I can thrust deeper. He leans forward, bracing himself on his knees, lifting his arse for me, one hand reaching to pull himself. Once, twice, a third long thrust, then ohfuckyes, I'm cum..mingg...
~~~
Spike groans softly as he comes. He lets go of my hips and pulls me back against me, his hand returning to my erection. Ok, makes that two hands...
I let out an unintelligible sound which was meant to be "Oh yeah Spike" as his hands cover me, long firm strokes.
"You like this, love?" he asks me softly, kissing my shoulder.
I nod. "Uhuh," I manage.
"I like touching your hard beautiful cock, like being inside you. Like having this big, hard, beautiful cock inside me," he says.
I grunt out a yeah and then I come.
I relax back against Spike. Boneless. He wraps his arms around me tightly.
And just about then I hear a knock on the door.
"Oh fuck."
I'm covered in cum, Spike's still inside me, my pants are around my ankles.
"Ignore them, pet, they'll go away," murmurs Spike, not even loosening his hold. And that's sort of nice too.
I groan. "It could be important."
Spike sighs. "Yeah, s'pose, but haven't they heard of telephoning."
There's another knock.
~~~
"Just a minute!" Xander calls out and pulls off me. I'm still hard, and sticky from some recent orgasming, but I tuck myself away and do up my pants. My hands are still covered in Xander's cum, so I wander into the kitchen and wash them. Xander hovers for moment, trousers around his ankles, trying to decide whether to deal with the cum on him or his pants first. He pulls off his t-shirt and wipes his stomach, then pulls up his trousers.
"Want me to get the door pet?" I ask.
"Um, yeah, no wait. I'm good. I'll get it."
"Xan, shirt," I say.
"Oh yeah, right," and he hands me his cum stained one.
"Love, I meant you'd better put one on, might be one of your mates. They're gonna wonder why you're sitting around with me half naked."
~~~
It hits me then, what Spike is saying, what he's offering. He's offering to keep this, us, a secret from my friends.
I open my mouth to protest, but Spike just raises his eyebrows. He's right. I'm not ready to do the outing thing yet.
"Go finish up, I'll get the door," he says. He throws the dirty t-shirt at me.
I nod dumbly and run to my bedroom to find something to put on.
I hear Spike open the door in the next room.
"Hullo love." I hear him say.
"Spike! What are you doing here. Where is Xander?"
Anya.
Oh fuck.
I hurry into the living room.
"An' hey!"
"Hello Xander. What took you so long to answer the door?"
Spike wriggles his eyebrows at me and withdraws. Obviously he's going to leave this one to me.
"Sorry, I was just washing my hands, pizza-" I shrug in a convincing manner if I do say so myself.
"Well, I just came over to return some more of your items I found in my apartment," says Anya obviously accepting my explanation. She hands me a plastic bag of stuff and looks closely at me. "You're looking very flushed Xander. Are you feeling sick?"
"I'm fine, heh, not feeling sick at all. Uh, thanks," I say quickly taking the bag. "I, uh, I've got some of your things too- " I grab a bag from the top of the fridge full of tampons and other assorted female type products I found in the bathroom.
"Thank you," says Anya. She looks at me sternly. "I was concerned when Willow said she couldn't contact you yesterday after you went to fight those demons."
I laugh nervously. I've already had that call from Willow this morning. So I might have taken the phone off the hook on Saturday when I was momentarily busy having a day of fucking with Spike, it's not like I was in any actual danger or anything. Wills was seriously pissed off. I'm gonna have to do some major league peace making... tomorrow. And don't even ask what excuse I gave to my best friend in the whole world. I played the tired, sore and injured card. And told her I accidentally knocked the receiver off the phone.
"Heh, yeah, I was kinda tired-"
"I mean, that was the sort of thing you did when we were together and having post-trauma sex. And then, when I got here, you took a long time to answer the door..."
I gulp. Oh crap. I didn't want An' to find out, not yet, not like this.
"So obviously I assumed you were lying to me when you said there wasn't someone else. But now I see its just Spike here. So I'm very happy and relieved."
I try not to sigh with relief. Because hey, now would be a good time to be honest. I involuntarily glance at Spike. He's sprawled on the couch, watching us and looking very amused.
"Um, yeah, just Spike, doing the old hanging out."
"Oh, I see. Well, I thought you might like to spend some time with me, but since you have Spike visiting, I'll go home now."
And yes, I'm feeling guilty.
"An' wait, you don't have to go, you can stay and hang out-"
"No," says Anya. She looked at the empty pizza boxes and beer bottles and the sport on the television. And Spike on my couch. Please don't let her notice the lube. Please don't let her notice the lube. "As much as I want to do platonic activities with you Xander, I don't think I would enjoy participating in your male bonding session."
I'm not blushing. And no, the thought of a m�nage a Xander/Spike/Anya did not just enter my head. And I wish Spike would stop smirking.
"An' seriously it's fine," I say. "Spike and I were... just watching television."
Anya smiles sadly. And yeah, I'm such a bastard.
"I understand Xander. You have your own life now. I'm pleased to see you're making male friends."
"Do- do you want to meet for lunch tomorrow or something?"
Anya smiles then. Oh yeah, Xander the jerk is such a hero.
"Yes, that would be nice."
Spike looks at me steadily as I shut the door and walk back to the couch.
~~~
"Sorry," says Xander.
"What for? Course you're going to do the right thing by your ex. It's what you white hats do."
"I mean about not telling her about us-"
And this is why this kid is doing my head in. Which is why I'm gonna make this easy on him. I lift me chin and look at him squarely.
"Yeah, about that, how about we don't tell any of your mates for a while. No use them getting their knickers in a knot if we might not even work out."
And the relief on the kid's face is at once both a kick in the guts and all the thanks I need.
But then Xander looks at me.
"It's ok Spike. I know I'm being weak here. And I will tell them, I just need some time. But I appreciate you trying to cover for me."
Bloody hell. I should just kiss him. I lean back on the couch.
"Covering nothing whelp. How'd you think it will look for my reputation as the Big Bad if it gets out that I let some kid regularly arse fuck me into the mattress?"
~~~
Oh. Ok. Hadn't thought about that. I know I'm dreading telling the guys that Spike and I are looking at being significant others, more even than telling them I'm batting for the other team now, but I didn't think that Spike might be embarrassed about being with me. I mean, he might still be covering, trying to make me feel like it's his decision not to tell people so I won't feel guilty. But what if he's not. Ok, and now I'm feeling guilty for ever feeling embarrassed about wanting *him*.
"Hey."
I look up. And Spike's looking at me, amused.
"That was an invitation by the way."
Oh.
Ok.
And then we're kissing and I'm undoing Spike's jeans and pulling them down to his knees and pushing his legs back up against his chest. And I'm pushing a finger in and then two and making him gasp and then I'm kneeling next to him on the couch and I'm pushing my dick inside him. And we're both groaning and grunting and panting and making all those good sex sounds.
~~~
I grip my legs behind my knees, holding them close to my chest, opening myself to Xander. He's holding me with one hand and bracing himself with the other on the side of the couch, but then he leans forward, pulling my legs up over his shoulders, and pushes in so bloody deep.
"Fuck yes, Xander," I bite out, wrapping my fingers in his hair and pulling him to me, kissing him hard. He gasps my name as he pulls back and then kisses me again.
And we stay like that for, all right, not much bloody longer, because we're thrusting against each other hard and then cumming just as hard.
Xander collapses against me and I let my legs slide off his shoulders. We just lie there.
"So, want another beer?" Xander asks after a couple of minutes.
"Yeah, sounds good."
He goes to get up and groans.
"Second thoughts lets leave that for ooh about half an hour?"
And I laugh. And that's why I'm here.
~~~
I lie there for a bit more, and it feels good and completely right to be lying on top of Spike, just letting him hold me, and letting me just hold him. I haven't completely analysed why I like Spike so much, but I think this right feeling has something to do with it. That and he gets me. And he laughs at my jokes.
Then I remember my surprise. A sort of 'something that Spike would like' present I got just in case the discussion worked out ok. And yep, am thinking it worked out very ok.
So I struggle to my feet and wobble to the kitchen and get two beers out of the fridge and also a bag of cold blood.
~~~
I lie on the couch, completely satisfied. Can't be bothered pulling up me jeans. I hear a pop, pop as Xander takes the caps off the beer bottles.
I hear the whir and then beep of the microwave before it sinks in that I *have* actually been smelling that smell I thought I smelt.
He bought me blood.
Xander Harris bought me blood.
He's grinning as he hands me the warm mug.
I look at him, curious.
He grins and shrugs. "Hey, what kind of relationship would this be if I didn't let you eat?"
"Ta love," I say, but it doesn't come out as ironic and casual as I want it to. And I look away. Bloody hell. Now he's really done my head in.
~~~
The look on Spike's face was definitely worth the effort of buying that blood. Purchasing fresh blood isn't as easy as it seems. For a start, butchers don't like to deal direct because they don't exactly want vampires coming into their shops. So I had to go to this dodgy guy who I'm pretty sure is a demon. And there was some general creepiness and wigginess. But Spike's expression, sort of amazed and touched and pleased -- definitely worth every gooey minute.
I grab my beer and sit down next to Spike. Things are kind of quite for a moment. I'm not sure whether cuddling would be appropriate. So I just let my foot touch Spike's. Spike drinks his blood and I'm not quite sure what to say now. But this is me, here, so I talk anyway.
"So, um, I got that whole work thing tomorrow, and I guess I'd better get some sleep, you want to stay tonight?"
Spike shrugs and puts down his mug, wiping his mouth.
"Yeah, might as well."
"Cool, great." I can't help my pleased smile, and I have to look away as Spike gets this odd kinda pleased look. But then I recover enough to add, "Only if you're not going to hog the blankets bleach-boy."
Spike smirks.
"Harris, I'm gonna be too busy listening to you snore to hog any blankets."
"Oh right, yeah cause I'm the one-" I stop. "You know you're not wearing any pants right?"
"Yeah, glad you noticed."
"Ok, good."
~~~
Continues here.